wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
