Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
