ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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