I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize