I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
