Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
