Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
