I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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