Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm always down for nudity.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
