i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
