Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
