what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
In America we eat man semen.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
