Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
