All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
