no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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