so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
