Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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