So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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