walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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