i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize