I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
