There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
