I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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