I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
