My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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