But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
