No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
