you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
