worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
