it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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