New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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