He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
