what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
