Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
