You work out of a Hotel?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize