Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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