This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
