oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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