my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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