I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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