i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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