can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
