im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
