i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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