Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
