I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
