Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
