your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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