I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize