I'm going to jail i love you
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
