i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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