If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
