Say something about gay babies.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
