one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
