Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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