So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize