I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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