I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
