...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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